Kentucky Handsome

Hey I know its been a while since I wrote to myself but we've been having quite a few conflicts of interest up here on Handsome Island. We're currently down in the great state of Kentucky helping pop dukes relocate with his fam, they're seeking a better life for my little sis away from the hooded out streets of the Bronx, NY where little boys turn to convicts and girls turn to hoes (thanks for that one Banks). As for us, we're just enjoying the ride and the escape from the city life this trip provides us.

I've had a lot of time to just sit back and analyze a lot of things. I know the Lord said for us to respect and honor our parents but I gotta speak the truth, I respect and honor papi but the man is SLOW! Forgive me Lord but I know for a fact now that this big ass intelligent brain you blessed me with is completely filled with Mami's genes and TOTALLY free of any of his brain cells, lol. I have similarities to my father when I see his temper flare up, or the way everyone just gravitates towards him and all who meet him easily become friends with him but when it comes to things like common-sense and quick thinking, that ALL came from my momma. The man can also be pretty annoying. He's the biggest worry-wart on the face of the earth. He gets here and the first day after just filling out applications for jobs the guy starts panicking and saying that his wife was wrong and there arent any jobs here... HELLO! YOU JUST APPLIED FOR 6 JOBS 2 HOURS AGO HOMIE, RELAX! He swears Kentucky was just awaiting his arrival and that every employer was supposed to be waiting with open arms ready to accept him as soon as he stepped in the door and said "Hi do you have any job openings?". Here's a funny example, his sister-in-law Maria said she was going to make some calls and see what she can get him. She calls this chick at Toyota who said she knows of an opening but is currently on vacation till Monday, but being that she knows Maria for a long time she's gonna call up someone in the office and see what that lady could do for her. Maria tells my father this and he's like wow that sounds great thanks a lot and we leave to his place to grab lunch. 15 minutes later we arrive at his apartment and as soon as we walk through the door he goes to his wife "Iris, Maria hasn't called you?" and she says "No, for what?" the man turns right back into the psychopath worry-wart and says "Oh you see I knew it was too good to be true, nothing is gonna work out. What am I gonna do now?!". I'm here lookin' at him like he's a straight retard and his wife is like calm down let me call my sister up. She calls and like about 10 seconds later she's dying of laughter. Her sister asked her if my pops is crazy or just simply can't tell time, ONLY 15 MINUTES HAD PASSED, WHAT IN THE WORLD DID HE THINK THIS WOMAN WAS - WONDERWOMAN??? So Iris told us Maria said this and it was funny but I couldn't even laugh from how embarrassed I was that this man was my father! All my life I've heard people tell me my cool, calm and collective side came from my pops but from what I see thats a straight up joke! This man worries as if the National Debt was his sole responsibility! That ain't a Contreras trait, no sir, my lil sis and I are cool as the wind and can't nothing move or shake us that easily. But hey, thats my father and I have no choice but to deal with it. The only thing I can do is make sure I always remember his ways as long as I live and make sure I don't end up like that.

Honestly I don't know how his wife could deal wit' that, I would'a dumped homeboy years ago lol. The worse part is that my little sister actually thinks her mom is the smart one - wow. She actually had the nerve to tell me last night that Iris is right all the time and dad's always wrong (after Common-SenseLESS didn't listen to his wife and we ended up going in the complete opposite direction of where we were supposed to go on our way to Wal-Mart). This hurt and I was put between a rock and hard place because from the looks of things he was wrong most of the time when it came to them two (so I can't blame the young lady) and because this is her mother we're talking about here so who am I to tell her that her mom is actually one of the dumbest campesinas this side of DR?! Not telling my own sister who looks to me for guidance the truth is really tough on me because as you all know I'm The Walking Truth so I can't really keep my mouth shut when I know something is completely NOT TRUE. I FELT LIKE THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE ALIVE AT THIS MOMENT!!! But hey, as I've gotten older I've realized there's times where we just need to go wit' the flow and let people find out things for themselves. I can want to correct the world and save it from itself but the truth of the matter is - I can't. One of these days Emiris will see the light and say "Wow, why didn't Johnny ever tell me that BOTH of my parents are nimwits???" and I'll just tell her "Sweetie, I was just trying to preserve your innocense and let the tides of time guide you to the truth when God felt you were ready" 'cause not for nothing but when it comes to this dandy couple that my little sister has to look up to as parents, man was the saying "ignorance is bliss" ever so true. What she doesn't know won't hurt her... now - LMAO!!!

Well that's enough of a peek into the sick mind of Johnny Contreras, anymore of my true thoughts and I'd run the risk of being called a heartless, emotionless a**h*** (even though I'd have to agree if anyone thought so already, lol, like most of you dont think the same things I do anyway) Until next time, Handsome Dreams and Stay Fly people! (or try to at least get fly if you're an ugly piece of brown ish!) PAZ Y LIBERTAD!!!